You Deserve to Be a Priority but It Doesn’t Make You SOFT

Soft (adjective): pleasing or agreeable to the senses, not bright or glaring (subdued), demanding little work or effort (easy), marked by gentleness, kindness, or tenderness, moving in a leisurely manner, not harsh or onerous, marked by mildness (unassuming), emotionally suggestible or responsive (impressionable), unduly susceptible to influence (compliant), lacking firmness or strength of character (feeble).” - Merriam-Webster

It's easy to get swept up in work deadlines, household chores, and social commitments. We often find ourselves juggling multiple responsibilities, leaving little time for the ‘self-pour’ (self-care and relaxation). But here's the thing: you deserve to be a priority in your own life.

Now over the years, I have heard it referred to as several things…the ‘soft’ life, the splurge, the personal timeout, and staycation. It always made me giggle just a bit that we had all of the fun names for the thing that seems to take an act of freaking congress for us to do, which is PAUSE! Long enough for the cloudy mind, and anxious heart to settle down…insert welcomed self-regulation!

We wait to partake in the luxury of the pause until something happens that gives us no other choice.

Now, this may be where I lose some people. This is where I challenge the concept of the term ‘soft life’ mostly because it is the newest buzzword. Stay with me…I promise I’m going somewhere with this. Please note that I am not negating the concept but I do feel a way about the word choice.

Mindset moment loading…

Soft (adjective): pleasing or agreeable to the senses, not bright or glaring (subdued), demanding little work or effort (easy), marked by gentleness, kindness, or tenderness, moving in a leisurely manner, not harsh or onerous, marked by mildness (unassuming), emotionally suggestible or responsive (impressionable), unduly susceptible to influence (compliant), lacking firmness or strength of character (feeble). - Merriam-Webster

The infamous phrase is everywhere! It’s a hashtag, on t-shirts and coffee mugs. We fall in love and run away with the idea of luxury as a band-aid for the lack of balance in our lives. Think about it, we require a vacation from work AND need a vacation after the vacation (I know I’m not the only one). The common denominator in the need for vacations is the need for some sense of balance.

Word choice MATTERS!

Balance (noun): physical equilibrium, stability produced by even distribution of weight, mental and emotional steadiness, a means of judging or deciding, to bring into harmony or proportion. - Merriam-Webster

The concept of the ‘soft life’ is allowing yourself to rest and recharge. The intent behind it is in fact to force you to pause so that you can find the thing you are chasing…BALANCE! Finding a balance between work and personal life is crucial. Somewhere in the constant go and doing all the tasks we lose ourselves. So much so that we fall out of love or forget to love ourselves all altogether. Self-love is a fundamental aspect of our mental and emotional health. We are intentional about treating ourselves with kindness, compassion, and respect and the expectation that others do the same.

It's super easy to neglect our own needs in favor of meeting external expectations. However, neglecting self-love can lead to burnout, stress, overwhelm, and diminished overall happiness. Creating a self-love routine doesn't have to be complicated or time-consuming. It starts with incorporating small, meaningful practices into your daily life that nourish your mind and body.

Now, achieving work/life balance is about finding harmony between your professional obligations and personal life (chores included) by acknowledging that you are NOT defined by your productivity or achievements. Your worth is inherent. Are you making time for self-love in your busy schedule? Take a step back and evaluate your priorities.  Where does there seem to be a constant tug of war?

If words truly carry as much weight as we allow them to and we absorb what we hear, read, and see and those words live rent-free in our heads; are you chasing ‘soft’ or ‘balance’?

Happy Healing 🫶🏽